Tim and I went to a local 'night club' one Thursday night. This was quite a long time ago, before we met our current partners!

We went with a group of other people and ended up getting separated at one point. I was off getting a drink and thought I should find out where Tim had dissapeared. I got back to the dance floor area to find Tim dancing away with two pretty good looking young ladies. Upon seeing me Tim waves me over.

So over I go strutting some of my best moves. The ladies seem fairly interested which was a bit of a result. As a particular song finished and another one began one of the ladies asked me if I knew how to Salsa!?

The only answer my slightly (Read Totally) drunken brain could come up with was 'Salsa? Don't you dip tortillas in that?'.

The two young girls quickly disappeared and we didnt see them again!! I didn't tell Tim what I had said to them for a few days, probably because I couldn't remember!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid, disco, salsa]

During another of our favourite science lessons we were performing experiments where we were burning various things to heat water in order to calculate the calorific value of them.

Burning peanuts created rather a lot of soot on the bottom of the copper can that contained all the water. We managed to get the soot all over our hands.

One of our 'friends' thought it would be funny to smear the soot from his hands all over Tim. Looking back, it was pretty funny but at the time Tim looked like he was the victim of a house fire or else had been working in a coal mine.

Our teacher did not see the funny side. We were asked who had done that to poor old Tim. The answer from our 'friend' was "Matt Did!". As I raised my hands to protest my innocence all the teacher could see was soot all over my fingers. I don't suppose I could blame him for sending me out of the room (AGAIN!).

Don't get mad, get even. More to follow.

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid, science]

This is a prank that I played on a friend of mine, I don't think it was Tim (Tim?) but I can't recall who it was.

I bought some electrical hardware from a local shop. I think it was Curry's. When I paid for the item and left the shop the alarm sounded as I passed the security barrier things. The cashier hadn't deactivated the security sticker on the box that I'd just bought. Rather than deactivate the tag, the store manager just waved me on.

I was at home unpacking my new toy when it occurred to me that I had an active security sticker in my possession. There had to be something I could use it for...

It finally came to me when my friend came round to my house. He took off his shoes before he came in. When he was elsewhere in the house I got the security sticker and lifted the inner sole of his shoe and stuck it underneath and put the innersole back, no evidence of tampering.

What he then had was a shoe that would set off security systems as he entered or left a shop.

Later that day the friend and I went to the local shopping centre. It was very difficult to keep a straight face as every time we entered or left a shop the alarms went off! Even more ammusing was the fact that we entered and left all the shops empty handed. Neither my friend nor the shop security could understand it!!

Apparently this happened for weeks, it was quite some time before the tag stopped working.

I did eventually tell him what I'd done. He saw the funny side in the end!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, pranks, Stupid, security tag, RFID]

About 20 years ago, my Father bought an ex-company car from his then Employer. It was a large Citroen CX estate car.(it looked like the car from Ghost-busters!)

This Citroen was amazing, and built like a tank! We had the car for a good 8 - 10 years in daily use, including using it as a tow car for our Caravan. The car was a real work horse, but as such it did, unfortunately, get a little neglected!.

The Car just kept on going! One day, however, it just stopped. This particular morning it just REFUSED to start. We checked everything, but couldn't find anything wrong. We ended up completely rebuilding the engine, and then it worked like new! (Ironically after a total rebuild it turned out to be only the injectors which were faulty!).

In the mean time, we had obtained a new car, and so the Citroen was surplus to requirements and sat on the driveway unused for some time.

One day, Matt needed a big vehicle to move something, and asked my dad if he could use the Citroen. The only problem was that the Citroen had sat un-run for about 6 months, and the Battery was totally dead.

We decided we could get round this, and the plan came together:

Matt would drive my 1.3 Metro, I would steer and bump start the Citroen.

We attached the metro to the citroen using a nice thick tow rope. Unfortunately the longest we had was only about 5 metres, but no problem!

Off we went! Matt got into the Metro, started it up and I gave him the thumbs - up. Loads of revs, and gently he took up the slack, then pulled me along.

One thing we forgot. Citroens of this era have everything driven by hydraulics. Like without engine, you get virtually NO steering, absolutely NO brakes, and NO suspension!.

Bouncing down our street now at about 25 MPH I decided to give it a go....
Turned on the ignition to bring up the dash lights, dip the clutch, second gear, DROP the clutch! BRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMMM it roars into life!!

Matt Hears the engine start on the Citroen, so stops the Metro. UH OH!!!

Unfortunately the Citroen still hasn't had time to build up any hydraulic pressure, so I have little steering, and NO BRAKES! I had no choice, and hit the metro up the back side, shooting him down the road, and breaking the tow rope!

Luckily hardly any damage was done to either car, and we were fine!

The Citroen went on for another few months fine, before we sadly sold it to a collector for next to nothing. A truly great car though!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid, citroen, bump start]

A big part of all science lessons was writing up the results of experiments. Tim and I always enjoyed carrying out the experiments but were less keen on putting pen to paper. We would always look for ways to write everything up using the least amount of effort while still trying to get good grades.

Tim cracked the formula for good grades without having to write too much. One of the experiments we had to carry out was something to do with litmus paper and measuring acidity in various samples, not terribly exciting. As we endeavoured to write up the experiment Tim came up with a plan: Stick the litmus paper samples in our science books. Rather than describing colour changes, the results would speak for themselves. Not much effort on our part.

To our amazement we were both given 'A' grades and a well done for the work.

From that moment on we would stick everything in our books as part of our experiment write up. This included charcoal, partialy burnt wooden splints, leaves etc. Each week we would get an 'A' grade and a well done.

Unfortunately we went too far one day. The experiment in question involved maggots. Out poor science teacher was rather less than impressed with the fact that we had stuck maggots to one of the pages in our science book!! The resulting grade was a 'D'.

Never again did we manage to get high grades from simply sticking things in our book!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid, maggots, science]

When Tim and I were about 15 years old we had a really great Maths teacher. I wont name names but she was not only a great maths teacher but she was a really kind person and extremely attractive. All the teenage boys, Tim and I included, suddenly took a very keen interest in mathematics!

We sat at the front of the class, as you do, right by this teacher’s desk. Being a fairly young and trendy teacher she was keen on the music of the time. One band that she was particularly fond of was INXS. We knew this because she had an INXS badge on her jacket.

During lesson we had with her, our teacher must have gotten a little bit warm and took her jacket off and put it on the desk. Shortly after, there was a raised hand from a classmate at the back and off she went to see what he wanted.

Staring at me was the INXS badge on the jacket... the gears started turning in my head.

Quick as a flash I grabbed the badge and made a few modifications. It now read "SEXINESS" which Tim and I thought was hilarious. I put the badge and the jacket back and we both speculated how long she would wander the corridors of the school before she noticed.

The answer was about 2 minutes. She hit the ROOF!

I got sent out of the class (AGAIN) and given a strong telling off and a final warning! Although the warning was issued with just the slightest hint of a smile!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid, INXS, prank]

During a hot summer one year Tim and I decided that it would be really nice to have a barbeque at his parent’s house. We arranged for Tim’s family to join in.

In getting everything ready for said barbeque we established that the barbeque really wasn’t large enough to cook a meal adequate for all of us. We decided we needed something bigger. Much Bigger!

My father used to have an engineering company so we thought it would be a neat idea to head over to his factory and make our own barbeque that would be large enough for the job. Once there we each had different ideas as to what would be the ideal design. Rather than argue about it we agreed to make two BBQ’s.

We both had the same basic ideas but neither of us wishing to ‘make do’ with a basic or flimsy design we chose heavy gauge steel for the main part of the BBQ along with a heavy galvanised steel grill area plus a higher grill to keep food warm. The legs of each were made from steel tube, again in heavy gauge.

Once we had finished we both admired our work and set about clearing everything away.

The first issue was that both of he BBQ’s had been so well engineered that they were almost too heavy to carry. They had to be carried between us. The second problem was that when it was time to fire up the BBQ that evening each of the required more than one bag of charcoal to fill it!

The final insult came later that evening after we had consumed far too much food. The heat of the charcoal had been intense enough to make the zinc coating on the grill stick to the food. Not knowing this we had eaten the food anyway which lead to a nasty case of zinc poisoning. Lovely!

The barbeques lasted for years and performed very well – as long as you had enough charcoal!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

Whilst on holiday on one occasion in Matts Grandparent's mobile home, in Hythe, we found a large inflatable dinghy. We also found a car cigarette-lighter powered pump for it, and a hand pump.
We decided that it would be a good laugh to take the boat to the sea side and have a muck about.
There was only one problem.....
Matts car (a MK1 Fiesta in a sexy shade of, well, Peanut butter) didn't have the optional Cigarette lighter fitted. We tried the hand pump, but soon realised that it would take approx 6 years to fill the boat, and decided there needed to be a way of filling it using the electric pump.
Somehow we managed to bodge the pump to the car's battery, and filled the boat up quite quickly.
Next problem. It would now NO WAY fit into the car. DAMN.
solution.... we let out some of the air, and rammed it into the car through the boot. The car was totally full of boat and us two, but we only needed to top up the air with the hand pump when we got there now! result!

We arrived at Dymchurch, parked the car, and Prised ourselves, and the boat from the crammed Fiesta.
Next we topped up the air in the boat, and fitted the stopper.
WAHEY!!!
The boat was thrown into the sea, and we both eagerly jumped in, and paddled for all we were worth out to sea. Surely France couldn't be THAT far????
About 15 mins or so into our sailing holiday, we noticed the boat was , well, SINKING!!!! it turns out we were sinking very rapidly, in fact. There was one very good reason for this. There wasn't a stopper in the boat any more!

It very quickly became apparent that we had no choice but to abandon ship!

Both of us abandoned ship, fully clothed in denim jackets, jeans and tee-shirts! we swam back towards the coastline as best we could (IN JEANS!).

As i approached the shore, i found one of those wooden posts. I believe they are called "Groins". When i say "Found" i mean i kicked it with my bare foot!!! OUCH!!!!

We eventually got back on the beach, and decided that it would be a good idea if we went into town for a bit to dry off before we got back into the car. There was one problem in this. I had a blue denim jacket and black jeans, and matt had a Black denim jacket and Blue jeans! SHOCK HORROR! never mind the fact we were soaked! no matter, we swapped jackets!

We spent the next hour or so in town, then went back to the caravan for dinner!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

As Matt has set the scene so well, i thought I'd continue the story.....

As Matt has already explained, we had a selection of "equipment" that we'd carefully manufactured and adapted to suit our mission. We arrived at the Site of the holiday home in Hythe, and literally within minutes we were itching to try out our gear. We un packed all our stuff, and made ourselves some healthy dinner(Think it was baked beans with fish fingers, followed by vodka-lemonade-icecream wasn't it Matt???). Straight after dinner (about 8 ish) we went off on our mission, carrying all our gear.

When we reached the top of the highest cliff we could get to, we set up our kit. Cleverly, we thought it would be a good idea to check if the ropes were long enough, so we held one end of our longest length, and threw the coil over the edge. It only made it about 2/3rds of the way!

Not a problem to ingenious persons such as ourselves. We pulled up the rope, and tied another length to it's end, using a Reef Knot. No worries!

now it reached about 3/4 of the way! Damn it!

Luckily we had another length of rope, so again, we tied it to the end. Now it reached the ground no problem at all. Brilliant!

It was beginning to get a little dark now, but we're totally dedicated, so in for a penny, as they say!

Next step - Find an anchor point. As luck would have it, there was a big concrete post where we were standing. Ideal we thought, so tied the rope to it, using a double granny knot. Better safe than sorry!

I think Matt went first. (Matt????) he put the harness (leather trouser belt) around his waist, threaded the rope through the Figure-of-8 and attached the harness to the figure-of-8 using the Karabeena.

Ready to go!

we were originally going to use the spare rope as a safety line, but had to join it to the long length. Not to worry, the rope was good and strong!

Over the edge Matt went, skillfully lowering himself and bouncing down the rock face. He had to stop a couple of times to negotiate the Knots in the rope, but it didn't phase him. All the way to the bottom!. Great run!

Next, Matt removed the gear, and tied it to the end of the rope. I pulled it to the top, and put on the "Harness", then threw back down the rope to Matt at the bottom.

Next I went over the edge, again, no problems. UNTILL, that is, i reached the second Knot. it was at this point i discovered that it had slipped somewhat, and so had to stop and re-tie it whilst hanging on the rope above! No problem though, and on I went.

All the way to the bottom. By now it was dark, and we decided to leave the rope and collect it in the morning.

When we got back to the caravan, we discovered that the belt wasn't as strong as Matt had originally thought. It had torn at least half way through, and the metal bit was really bent!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

One day during our summer holidays from school, we were at Matt's house, and decided we'd make ourselves a gourmet lunch.
We searched the cupboards and found two tins of Sainsburys beef curry.
Excellent!
Only problem is, we needed to add our own unique taste, as it was a little bland.
Matt found some HOT curry powder in another cupboard, and we decided it would be just the ticket.
He twisted the little sprinkler top to the small holes position, and shook the tub furiously over the saucepan.
OOOOOPS!
The big lid suddenly flew off, emptying the entire 50g (ish) tub into the sauce pan!
there was no way we were going to waste all that food, nor all the curry powder, so we decided to eat it anyway!

I recall how we drank the best part of 4 pints of milk between us to try to put out the 'flames' in our mouth.
It felt like our faces were melting!

There are many other culinary stories, but they'll have to wait for now!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

During out various "experiments" to develop something ground breaking and incredible in Matt's "workshop / Lab" (garden shed!) we discovered that those little "french banger" fireworks would give a quite significant explosive force, Especially if you contained the explosion or restricted it in some way.

Our experiments with these discovered that by plugging a 4 foot length of 40mm plastic waste pipe with mud at one end, dropping a lit banger in the open end and then quickly plugging the other end with mud too, the mud "bullet" would be fired quite some significant distance!
"Quality!" we both shouted!
You could see the look of genius on our faces, i'm sure, as we then realised that if the tube was of a much smaller diameter, the force would be much higher!

Next step: 15mm barrel!

We then got a length of 15mm copper plumbing pipe, and, instead of plugging one end with mud, we flattened it with a hammer, and folded it over to seal it. By experimenting, we found that you could omit the other plug, and the banger itself would become the projectile, or "bullet".
The distances you could achieve were really quite impressive!

One day, another friend of ours, A. (not the same A. as before!) came round to Matt's. He too was impressed by our experiment, and was eager to have a go. We took A. out to a remote field with our equipment to try it. He held the tube in his hand, and lit the banger, quickly dropping it into the tube as we told him to. BBBANG! it went, and fired the banger out. A. then let out a yell, and we realised he'd held the tube with the end (flattened) in the palm of his hand, Not as we'd told him! The recoil force of the blast has driven the sharp end into his palm! OUCH!

Not deterred by his injury, A. carried on "experimenting" with us for the rest of the day, but was very careful to hold the tube properly!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

During the school summer holidays one year Tim and I camped out in a friends garden (the friend with the motorbikes).

We pitched out tents at the bottom of their big garden and built ourselves a large camp fire. We decided that we would cook all of our food on the fire as well as using it to keep warm through the night.

As the night was clear and dry we decided to sleep next to the fire rather than in the tents. After the customary sitting around until the early hours of the morning the three of us finally fell asleep.

I had probably been a sleep for a few hours when I was woken by this shouting (more like screaming!). As I came out of my deep sleep and sat up all I could see was two balls of fire bouncing down the garden and I could hear someone in pain. As I went to investigate the next thing I heard was a splash.

Turns out that Tim had fallen asleep with his feet so close to the camp fire that his boot eventually caught light! As he got up and danced around the garden in pain he did the sensible thing and jumped in the pond!

Another classic!!!

Matt

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

Another good friend of mine (but not so much at this stage of Matt) had a huge Garden in Sawbridgeworth. His parents were really cool, and he and his brother had all kinds of fun stuff like motor bikes, petrol go-carts etc.
I used to go round to this friends house regularly and he, his brother and I would race round and round and round on the various petrol "contraptions", getting gradually faster and faster!

Amongst the selection of "Hardware" was an old Moped, which I believe came from an elderly aunt of this friend. We named this moped "BERTHA".
Bertha had a few unique characteristics, such as no brakes! This was no problem, as all you needed to do to stop was open the throttle fully QUICKLY, where the engine would die, and you'd coast to a stand. A bit of practice, and you'd soon get a feel for it!

One day, I brought Matt along to this friends house, and there we all were..... Matt, S., A. ,and myself.

The Line up was:
Me - 125cc Go cart
A. - 125cc Trials bike
S. - 250cc Motor -x bike
Matt - 50cc Bertha

We briefed Matt on the opperation of the "brakes" and away we went!
Round and Round and Round and Round.... Suddenly Matt seemed to be getting really quick, maybe he was getting nerves of steel!

so we shouted to him to slow down...

He slammed open the throttle as we'd told him and Bertha took off!!!

I can see it like it was yesterday, as he shot off through the trees and hedge at the bottom of the garden at about 30 mph, Bertha screaming and pushing him in further and further!!

He wasn't (badly) hurt, and we all had a laugh about it!

Bertha never again did such a turn of speed! Matt must have a magical touch!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

One day, we were in our favorite science lesson with a teacher we'll refer to here as "Dr S.". He was running late, as was usual, but had asked the "prep room ladies" to set up a big experiment on the front bench as a class demonstration for us all to see.
It really was a huge setup. Tap pumps, bunsen burners, collecting tubes, bee-hive shelfs... the works!
Whils sat waiting for him, we decided it might be funny to have a little joke with Dr S. , so we "customised" the experiment slightly for him.
Every single pipe was moved in some way, but of biggest significance has to be the gas, water and drain pipes.....

Anyway, Dr S. eventually showed up, and cracked straight on with the demonstration!

It was spectacular! a fountain of water from the bunsen burner, a bubbling tap pump and syphoning collection tubes!!

He suspected we might have been somehow involved, but could proove nothing!

A good laugh was had by all!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]

Whilst at school, the favorite subjects for Both Matt and myself were the Sciences, and Technology. I'm not sure if it was because we were good(?!)at them, or just purely and simply because we loved making, breaking and setting fire to things!
Anyway, back to the story.....
Whilst in a chemistry lesson one day, it came to our attention that the pressure present at the gas taps for bunsen burners was, in fact, really quite low. It didn't take us too long to figure out that, once lit, it was possible to remove the bunsen's pipe from the gas tap, and blow (using our mouth!) into the pipe. Blowing into the pipe simply the gas trapped in the pipe. It was therefore possible to walk around the Lab, carrying a lit bunsen burner whilst blowing into the pipe!
Once you had relocated to a suitable work bench you could simply re-attach the pipe to a gas tap, turn it on, and HEY PRESTO! the flame carried on seamlessly!
This was one of our favorite stunts, and one that somehow confused and amazed even the "brightest" class mates!

Tim

[Technorati tag(s): Did we really do that?, Crazy, Stupid]